What’s the point of developing skills and “expertise”?
Is it to make money?
Is it to be famous?
Is it to eventually become so skilled that you barely have to work anymore?
The answer to the last three questions is no.
So why do you develop skills?
What’s the point of making “connections” with influencers and other smart people?
The point is to do HIGH QUALITY WORK for those people.
Most people aren’t successful because they are lazy. Specifically, they want other people to help them, but they don’t really want to help other people.
Joe Polish is the founder of GENIUS NETWORK, considered by many to be the top-tier of entrepreneurial masterminds.
Joe Polish has a list of “rules” that he expects of those whom he interacts with. He calls it his “Magic Rapport Formula.” The principles of his formula are:
- Focus on how you will help them reduce their suffering
- Invest time, money, and energy on relationships
- Be the type of person they would always answer the phone for
- Be useful, grateful, and valuable
- Treat others how you would love to be treated
- Avoid formalities, be fun and memorable, not boring
- Appreciate people
- Give value on the spot
- Get as close to in-person as you can
So, let’s assume you’ve developed some awesome skills and abilities.
How exactly are you using those, in the act of service, to help other people?
There are two very important concepts embedded in that last statement.
- In the act of service — meaning you GIVE, first, before you get
- You give to the RIGHT PEOPLE
Interestingly, the more successful people become, the more they want others to HELP THEM become more successful. And the less they want to help others.
At some people, these people stop doing the very things that made them successful.
You become successful by developing skills and abilities — and by using those skills to serve and provide value to others.
But then success can make a person lazy, and they stop using the very skills and abilities they worked so hard to develop.
Joe Polish is spot on: You should help other people ON THE SPOT.
When you’re trying to connect with people, give them MEANINGFUL SERVICE.
Develop highly useful skills that you can use to dramatically help other people. Then spend MOST OF YOUR TIME focused on their success.
You need to get to the point where you care more about the success and results of other people than you care about the success and results of yourself.
You need to find joy — genuine pleasure and excitement — watching other people succeed as a result of your help and skills. It’s even better when you are completely anonymous to outside observers. Of course you’re not anonymous to the people you’re helping.
If you develop some brilliant skills and generously use those skills to help the right types of people, you will become VERY, VERY SUCCESSFUL.
You’ll be successful because life gives to the givers and takes from the takers.And that idea is at the foundation of Joe Polish’s philosophy of success and relationships.
Moreover, when you dedicate your skills to helping other people, you’re being USEFUL in your relationships, rather than lazy.
So many people want stuff out of relationships, but how much are they willing to put into those relationships?
Why be lazy in your relationships?
Why develop skills only for the purpose of being around successful people, rather than using those skills to help successful (and non-successful) people?
When you’re proactive about service, and when your service makes an enormous impact, people will do incredible things for you. They’ll do it not out of need for reciprocity. But because they genuinely love and appreciate you.
They’ll help you because you’re a person who deserves to be helped.
Because you’re a great person.
Because you’re a servant-leader.
Because you give so much.
So, what’s the one way to be successful?
It’s to develop real skill-sets and then generously USE those skill-sets to help as many people as possible.
If you get really good at something, you’ll eventually become relatively successful.
This is when most people plateau in their skill-development, and become complacent and comfortable with their relative success.
It’s at THIS point that people seek relationships with influential people, and other “successful” people.
Yet, they want these relationships, not to help their new friends. But as a means for USING those relationships to further their own success.
Real relationships don’t work this way.
Success can’t happen this way.
You need to be proactive in your relationships.
You need to initiate and take the relationship further. You need to be what Joe Polish calls, “The first domino.”
You be the first domino by offering RADICAL and generous service, in a very specific and meaningful way.
You then spend the majority of your time helping others — and often it won’t be in a contractual way for money (although plenty of money will be created and shares). But of your own free will and love. Love to serve. Love for your craft. Love for the person.
You care more about the success of others than you care about the success of yourself.
This doesn’t mean you neglect your own success.
But you will further develop and hone your skills far more by helping others than by attempting to help yourself.
You can then use your continually deepening skill-sets to further your own success — such as in the form of developing products, or marketing your own products.
Be a giver.
Not a taker.
Don’t be lazy in your relationships.
Be of service.
Blow people away by what you do for them.
They’ll love you.
You’ll become brilliant at what you do.
You’ll be happy, because you’ll be outward focused.
You’ll also be happy because you’ll be useful.
You’ll also be happy because you’ll be connecting deeply with people.
And because you’ll come to LOVE, truly love and care about other people, rather than only pretending to love other people so long as they are helping you move forward.